AI Profile Roaster
Paste your profile. Get savaged. Unlock the rewritten version for $9.
Mean but fair.
What you get
Every profile type gets the same treatment: savage AI roast, shareable card, and an unlock to the rewritten version that actually works.
Paste any LinkedIn profile, resume, or dating profile. The AI reads every line and delivers a brutal, quotable roast in under 30 seconds. No signup required.
Every roast generates a branded card with the funniest line. Built for screenshots. Optimized for X, LinkedIn, and TikTok. This is the viral loop.
See the preview of your rewritten profile. If you like it, unlock the full version — optimized, ATS-friendly, and actually honest about what you bring to the table.
LinkedIn, resume, and dating profile. One product handles all three. The roast engine is tuned for each format — different insults, different standards, same brutal honesty.
How it works
From paste to shareable roast in under a minute.
Drop in your LinkedIn URL, paste your resume text, or describe your dating profile. No account, no email, no friction.
The AI reads everything. Then it tells you what your profile actually says about you. Brutal. Accurate. Sometimes funny. Always honest.
See a preview of your rewritten profile. Like what you see? Pay $9 for the full version — ready to copy, paste, and actually use.
Pricing
The roast is free. The fix costs $9. No subscription, no hidden fees.
See your profile the way the world actually sees it.
The full experience: roast, preview, and the rewritten version.
LinkedIn, resume, and dating. Comprehensive personal brand overhaul.
Real results
The people who share their roast are the same ones who come back for the rewrite.
My resume went from 'generic project manager' to something that actually sounds like me. The roast was embarrassing. The rewrite was worth every penny.
Posted my roast card on LinkedIn and it exploded. Three recruiters reached out the next week. The AI was brutal but it was right about everything.
The dating profile roast was the funniest thing I've seen this year. Fixed it, tried it, actually got better matches. Coincidence? Probably not.
I roasted my own LinkedIn and couldn't stop laughing. Then I paid the $9. The rewrite was clean, professional, and actually got me more profile views.
FAQ
Yes. Full roast, no signup, no credit card. You paste your profile, you get roasted. The rewrite is the paid part.
The AI reads your actual profile content and delivers specific, relevant roasts based on what it finds. It's not random — it knows the difference between a LinkedIn with 12 bullet points of metrics and one that just says 'hard worker.'
A full rewrite of your profile using the roast as a brief. The new version fixes every problem the roast identified, optimized for your target platform (ATS-friendly for resumes, algorithm-friendly for LinkedIn, compelling for dating).
No. It's a one-time $9 charge per profile rewrite. No recurring billing, no hidden charges.
That's the whole point. Every roast generates a shareable card with the best line. Post it on X, LinkedIn, or TikTok. It's designed to start conversations and drive viral traffic back here.
We don't store your profile content. The roast is processed in memory and gone. We keep nothing.
roasted.ai — the free roast, the paid fix